Tuesday, July 30, 2013


So like I do, I think odd thoughts in the car. Oh, who am I kidding? I think odd thoughts everywhere. But this particular stream of thought happened in the car.  So here goes: Why do certain animals get associated with certain attributes? It seems rather arbitrary.  Allow me to elaborate: 

A Lucky Duck- What on earth makes a duck lucky? I personally have never met a duck that inspired me to think: “man I wish I could switch places with that duck.” Nor have I ever - in a time of extreme bad fortune - thought: “If only I was a duck! That’d get me out of this jam!”  or even “I could some duck luck right about now.”   So why?

A Silly Goose -  Now I have had thoughts about geese.  Mostly that they’re kinda A-holes. They honk horribly- they poop everywhere - you can’t get near a pond if geese live there with out stepping in goose scat. And they chase and bite you if you get too close to the pond. Honestly, they’re borderline socio-paths. But silly? No.

A Dumb Dog - Now I know - dogs aren’t solving world hunger - but dumb compared to what?  Other animals? People?  All I'm saying is they’re not  following us around with little baggies and picking up our poop. So who’s dumber than who? Really? 

A Clever Cat- well this is derivative of my last argument but ya know, me and 90% of the internet savvy population have seen cats get stuck in boxes on purpose.  Not super clever.

A Dirty Bird - are birds particularly dirty among their animal compatriots? I mean to me animals in general seem pretty gross-lots of butt licking, peeing on stuff and pooping wherever they damn well feel like it.  But in fairness,  upon close inspection- so do most humans -especially the little ones - they are cesspools of dirt, germs and boogers. 


A  chicken- a chicken is literally  a euphemism for being scared! Why?  Are they notoriously afraid of everything?  I can admit I don’t spend nearly enough slash hardly any time around chickens. Maybe they are giant wussies, but the ones in the petting zoo my daughter attends on Saturdays don’t seem to be scared of anything!  And I mean, that guy looks like he's literally giving the camera the Bobby DiNero "You lookin at me?!"

My personal favorite and the reason these thoughts popped into my head in the first place:  Why oh why  is a tiger associated with Karate? Is there a Tiger Sensei that I am unaware of that has been wow-ing students and karate enthusiasts for years with his kick -ass karate moves? Was the first use of karate a man vs. tiger fight?

I don’t know. But this is my thought of the day. And now it’s here for you to enjoy and perhaps ponder weird animal associations of your own. I am sure there are thousands! 

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