Fall...Now With More F***ing!

As you might know from our previous blog post, fall is Joanna's favorite time of year. She loves it so much that she has this sign on her mantle...

...which was painstakingly made from a $3 kit from Target, a barbecue stick, and a printer. A few days ago, Jo was openly weeping over the fact that this is probably the last year she could have that sign up because Lilly will probably be able to read it next year. "WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO LEARN?" Joanna cried, salting her pumpkin spice latte with her tears. In an effort to console her, I joked that she'd only have to take it down for a few years, just until Lilly understands humor and possesses the self-control to not say the word from her mantle at school. "And when you bring it back, you can have a big ass marquis sign that says FUCKING FALL!" I said, wiping Joanna's tears with an infinity scarf. Joanna: "That is a brilliant idea except not for the future--for NOW." And with a crazy look in her eye, Joanna darted off to Hobby Lobby, leaving me in her living room with a look of confusion and a salty pumpkin spice latte.

A few hours later, I got a phone call from Joanna. She was lost in Hobby Lobby. Also she had spent $100 on supplies to make a Fucking Fall sign. Naturally, I craftgasmed and sang: "PROJECT!"

The next day, Joanna showed up with letters, a bundle of wood, glitter paints, gold leafing, fake berries, and root beer candy. We set to work.  We started with fucking.

Then it was time for fall, which was way more complicated than fucking. First we had to drill holes into the wood to put lights through.

We were super proud of ourselves for being LADIES who HANDLED POWER TOOLS like BOSSES! Then it got more complicated so we gave up and got Chris to do it.

Then we painted the letters and tested it out. The first time we turned those lights on Joanna's face lit up like a Christmas tree that had been hit with a flame thrower.

The end product is AMAZING. No one will ever doubt Joanna's cult-like devotion to fall. AND we made "fucking" removable so fall can still be festive and the "fucking" will live on in our hearts. And in Joanna's closet until it's time to come back out.

YAAAY WE'RE RIDICULOUS!

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What is this?

A: It's a website for Joanna Lewis and Kristine Songco, lady-writers extraordinaire. We'll be posting things sporadically - what we're up to, funny musings on everyday life, political views we mimic from Jon Stewart, that kind of thing. Maybe some kitten videos. I don't know. The pawssibilities are endless! Q: That was a really bad pun.

A: Yeah, well, that wasn't really a question. I guess we both failed at something today. Q: Who are you?

A: We're a lady writing team. We've been working for Nickelodeon's TUFF Puppy and Fairly OddParents but our time here is coming to an end. As we move closer to the nothingness that is unemployment we thought it'd be good to have a somethingness that is a website. We will nurture it, probably be really excited about it at first and do something with it, like, every day. Then once the initial excitement wears off we'll probably ignore it in favor of watching TV. It's kind of like having a kid. (Joanna: Lilly, baby, Mommy would totally pick you over TV. Most of the time.) Q: What's that smell?
A: Cupcakes or buttery caramel coffee. We usually smell like one or both.

Q: I like your faces.
A: Again, not a question, but I’ll let it slide this time because it was a compliment. Thank you! It was designed by Christopher Lee. He’s my boyfriend so he has to do nice things for me.  

Q: Why lady-writers.com?
A: It seemed like the most accurate and concise way to describe who we are. It also made us laugh to think that someone could feasibly think we meant "lady riders" and go to that website instead. They would get a very inaccurate idea of what it is we do. They'll either think we're a female motorcycling group or a male stripper company. But hey, whatever gets us jobs, right?

Q: Are you saying you guys are open to female motorcyclist and male stripper jobs?
A: Not really. It was a joke. We tend to joke around when we're nervous or bored or feel like we have to fill the silence. Heh heh. Puppy brothers.

Q: Right. Are we done here? I have a thing at 5.

A: Suresuresure. Get outta here so you can hobnob or picstagram...whatever it is kids do these days. Dr. Mario? Is that still a thing?

Welcome to our website!