Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Soooo, like Kristine said -  it's been a while since we've blogged. Not because we haven't had thoughts,  because we have. I mean we're basically Plato ....  if Plato wasn't profound in any way. 
What was I writing about?  I got distracted by finding this boss picture of Plato.  He had a wonky nose, no? Or is that just a bad day for the sculptor? Or just time eroding his stony nose parts?  Hmmmm.  Well. Much like getting to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop, the world may never know.  Well they probably do, but I don't so... Why haven't we been writing on our blog?  Simple answer.  We've been losing our f-ing minds.  And we've been busy. Like crazy busy.    But here are some of tangential things that we've learned over the last six months that I thought we'd share with you.

Termite Farts are majorly responsible for Global Warming.  Whaaaatttt?  It's true. Google that shit.  They are the second largest contributor to methane emissions.  Crazy right? I wish my farts could be that epic.  Nope. I immediately take that back. Everyone would be so mad at me, I'd end up in jail or not allowed to eat any of the foods that make me happy.  Sooo I'm good with my non- epic farts.

GLUTEN isn't our friend. Guys, this was a sad sad day in our lives.  If you know us at all,  you know how much Kristine loves baking a ton and I love eating a ton.  So avoiding gluten has been pretty sad.  No more of this stuff for us. Soft weeping sounds.


Next up:
There are at least forty five sexual positions we didn't know about before having to research them. Yep.  That was part of our job. We got paid to do that.  Just let that marinate for a little while.  I was gonna post a picture of this one but then decided I don't know what the blogger policy on computer animated sex positions was.  But if you get the chance look up the "Sultry Saddle" I just like saying it. It's funny.

We learned about testosterone injections.   Apparently if you over do it,  the testosterone  turns into estrogen in your body. Crazy right?  So you go from this:
to... this:
Who knew? I'm not sure which one is worse honestly.  Because it'd be awesome to be strong but a good cry is also so nice sometimes, ya know?  And lets be serious - neither look is especially attractive.

We also learned about the Bechdel test.  Which yes, we had no idea about.  We are lousy feminists.  But for all of you who are too - here you go.   These are the rules - IN A MOVIE  or a WORK OF FICTION -  ARE THERE...

??? If so, the movie passes if not - it fails.  You'd be surprised how many movies fail.  I know I was.   Like really surprised.

And yes we did learn  that Ghosts apparently sweat the Hoff.   But look at him.  How could they not? I get it Building 131 Ghost,  I really do....

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